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02.19.2018

 I’m Jillian Gribbins or you can call me Jill; formerly known as @faithfulfarmhouse on Instagram. I recently married Mackaye, my best friend of 5.5 years, in October. We have two dogs (children), Addie and Joey. I have worked my dream job as a full-time nurse at a pediatric clinic for the last 4 years.

 

I started my home decor account 1 year ago this month. I had SO much going on at the time between moving to a new house, planning a wedding, and family issues galore. Before moving, we lived in an older rental brick house (picture this: green/white checkered linoleum, country blue cabinets, a green bathtub, and the washer/dryer in the kitchen). I never felt inspired to decorate our outdated space into a home until we moved into our current house. It was more our style and the home we would first share as "Mr. and Mrs." I used Instagram as my outlet to post about my love for home decor. I am from a small town full of closed-minded, judgmental assholes so a separate account seemed necessary (at the time).

 

I was 110% committed to my home decor account for months. Even while planning a wedding! When I say committed, I mean: posting once a day, replying to ALL messages and comments, searching hashtags to use, following new accounts, commenting on other’s posts and adding to my stories daily. That same commitment gained me 1,000 followers in less than a month, a huge milestone for home decor/blog accounts! It’s different when you start a personal account and people you know start to follow you. Because let’s be honest, they’re just being nosey… but when you start an account from scratch and earn followers based on your CONTENT and PERSONALITY, that’s HUGE.

 

But as the months went on and the wedding crept closer, I started to become less faithful to my account (pun intended). Spoiler alert: Everything you do doesn’t need to be seen or heard. I had to take a step back and obviously focus on the wedding and my upcoming marriage. I assumed that once the wedding was over, life would go back to normal and I’d post like I did the first 6 months. WRONG. I quickly learned that if you aren’t stressing about one thing, YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO STRESS ABOUT. So cue my insecurities. My home. Myself. My marriage. I questioned it all. Constantly searching for validation that I. AM. ENOUGH.  It’s so easy to fall into the “swipe up” story schemes and buying something because it’s easily and readily obtainable. The items in your house do not define it as a home.

 

LET ME SAY IT ONE MORE TIME FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

 

The items in your house do not define it as a home.

I became materialistic which is the one thing I STRIVED not to be when starting my account, talk about a 180 degree turn.

 

My New Year’s Resolution (LOL) was to transition my account into more lifestyle posts. I hoped that it would help me take some of the pressure off of myself. Instead, it did the opposite. I started following hundreds of lifestyle/beauty bloggers and I then became insecure in my weight and appearance. So I went from questioning my home… to questioning myself. Social media is a black hole that I was sucked into the minute I started my account. And ironically enough, it is the one thing that pulled me back out.

 

@collinkartchner started posting funny videos acting as a blogger persona/character he created. His videos were hilarious yet had so much truth in the way these “#powerinfluencers” acted. Once he realized how many people also agreed with him, he started to use his platform for good. Encouraging others to unfollow any account that made you feel negative about yourself! (I unfollowed about 300!) One of his last Instagram stories he said, “Maybe we’re gonna look back and ask ourselves “Why the heck did I waste all that time, scrolling through endless photos of people I don’t know looking for validation from strangers I’ve never met?””

 

…and then it happened.

 

I unplugged.

I encourage you to start today. Unfollow the negativity. Stop checking on people that are not checking on you. Because in a world where everyone is exposed, the coolest thing you can do is maintain your mystery. So go be mysterious.

 

Not deleting my account, just detoxing.

 xoxojillian

@jilliangribbins

 

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